GROUNDED, 2023 world premiere

Commissioned by newRUCKUS

Grounded is a musical translation of my mental health journey during the COVID-19 pandemic, from its onset through 2023. Evoking feelings of isolation and uncertainty, the piece reflects a relentless search for peace amid panic, grief, and change. Its title is inspired by the 2023 Netflix series Beef, in which the character Amy (Ali Wong) describes a persistent, indescribable sensation: “There’s this feeling I’ve had for a long time. I don’t remember when it started. I can’t pinpoint exactly when or why. But it feels like the ground, but right here.” As she speaks, she presses her hands against her sternum.

Through a combination of composed and improvised music, Grounded seeks to interpret the feeling Amy struggles to articulate. Each section intentionally disorients the listener through dissonance, reflecting the instability and unease that can accompany periods of crisis. Rooted in the deeply personal experience of navigating stress and anxiety during an uncertain time, the piece embraces the unpredictability of both performance and perception. No two performances will be the same. Grounded invites performers, ensembles, and audiences to participate in a shared exploration of coping, uncertainty, and the search for peace. This performance represents the first interpretation of that journey.

No Air For Solo Bassoon

Monica Ellis, Bassoon

This commission and online premiere performance of No Air is made possible by American Composers Orchestra with lead funding from Augusta Gross and Leslie Samuels.

Cytokinesis (bang, Bang, Bang!) live performance (2015)

Photos